on thinking and feeling

i've always been a pretty idealistic person. i never really understood (and still don't, really) why people just can't "get over it" so to speak and talk to each other...i mean, why not? we're all people, right? yes, we all have different opinions and viewpoints across cultures, and even within cultures. why don't we see how lucky we are to have the opportunity to interact with people every day that can expand our perspectives, introduce us to new ideas, expose us to situations we'd never known about...well, that's how i see it, anyway.

when i was in brazil, though, and became a little more exposed to how the rest of the world views americans (as a whole), it hit me pretty hard and actually just made me sad. not that i had jumped into brazilian culture and had a perfectly smooth transition, and not that my friends and host family there had made generalizations about me that affected our relationships, but being face to face with the reality in the general population about my general population profoundly affected me. upon writing about this in my blog, i received some responses along the lines of, "well, you were always kinda idealistic. this is just how it is." i mean, i can't argue with the first part of that. i was and still am like that. i'm quick to trust, quick to accept, and quick to believe that everyone has the motives that i would think they'd have, motives to do good in their little pieces of the world.

but why does this have to be a view associated with ignorance? since when did this have to become such an anomaly? and as far as the second part of that statement goes, when did this become...it? it's not the end of the road, right? what's wrong with change? i know that people are people and as people we aren't perfect, of course. i don't know though, sometimes i just think that our ideologies get in the way and dictate our emotions too much. since when did thinking surpass feeling in importance? we still have instincts for a reason. i can't help it if i feel for people in situations not as blessed as mine, for people that feel the world has turned against them, for people singled out because of their religion, their appearance, their country of origin. and not that i'm perfect and only feel "nice" feelings, but still.

and now public schools, low on funding, are looking to cut the arts programs first...sucks. i go to tech, i know, and i appreciate the fact that knowing about science, math, and technology has brought us so far and will continue to do so, but i can't imagine living in a world of only numbers, circuits, chemicals.

you need them both in their own right, thinking and feeling. but letting one dictate the other to where it blocks it out entirely...that's where we get into trouble.

i don't want to choose.