been awhile...oops.

so i do realize it's been over a month since i last posted...

though i would like to say that between traveling among 4 countries, organizing and facilitating a 7 day conference, spending time on the beach (it was one day), and living on a bus/boat/airplane, there wasn't much time. too much living i guess, you know?

so as of 1 january, i have a new team of vp's. almost none of them had experience when starting, but everyone was motivated to work - good thing ;) there's a lot to be said for that, i've realized - the motivation, the ganas (como dicen en espanol) - if you believe it you can achieve it kind of thing. as cheesy as it sounds, things are happening, and i like it :) i'd also like to think that i've had something to do with it, but only time will tell i guess. all in all, i've officially solidified my leadership style. i knew about it before, that i was never a dictator-type, more the be your friend and win trust like that type, but i was never strong enough, even in this...well, ladies and gentlemen, juanita/juana/johanna/jo/joha/juanitka/juanis has found her way - and so far, it's rockin :)

it's amazing what a difference it makes when you can teach someone something in the way you want them to understand it - the whole outlook changes. attitude. motivation. respect. everything.

my vp's are sending messages to each other almost every day. they're sharing their materials, opportunities, advice. and though they may not understand everything, they're asking, they're working, they're curious. they respect me, i respect them, i have faith in them and they in me. this semester is starting slow, but well. right now, i can't ask for much more.

on a personal note - can't believe i have only 4 more months here! loving having juan so close - parents come next week to visit - trying to keep in touch with home when i can - happy in summer overall :)

i think i need to move to a place with eternal summer...btw :)

hola, 2010!

so here i am, now officially 1 day into 2010. the third decade in which i'm living. how did i get here? i've felt old and young, irresponsible and too responsible these past few days, just being in my home country.

i never lost my independence here, the independence that i've fought so hard for in chile, the independence that eluded me until almost the end of my time in brazil. it's something that's always been important to me and so i fight and struggle. it would be a lie to say that dropping yourself in a new country is easy and that you can start acting your age immediately - well, at least if you don't speak the language. i'm there now in chile, i got there in brazil, but not until after lots and lots of struggling. i landed here. i got in the car, and boom - i'm back where i was 7 months ago, independence-wise at least. my mind is a million miles away in some ways, completely content here in others. i can feel that i belong here and always will, just because i grew up here. i also belong in chile and brazil though, more in perspective than in appearance.

in the past week and a half that i've been here (in the u.s.), i've seen the majority of my extended family, spent lots of time with my immediate family, and have spent time with old friends ranging from 3rd grade to college. everything has been amazing, but there's something missing. i start to explain my life and my experience in southern cone and looks of interest turn to confusion - so, why are you there again? for how long? what exactly do you do? ah, so no engineering (yes, thank you, i know)? so, what's chile like?

i could talk about it all day to be honest if i didn't feel like i was boring and/or confusing people to death. so where does that put me now, at the end of this first day of 2010?

- i return to southern cone in 3 days

- on the other side of midterm goals (in my work)

- 1 week into yoga (and ready for more!)

- missing my boyfriend of 2.5 years

- realizing that my body doesn't react to a night of partying the same way it did in my first years of college

- speaking lots and lots of english

- listening and reading a lot in spanish

- uncertain about the future

- pleased with the past (and with saudades extremas)

- motivated, confident, and ready for something (not sure what yet)

- still without concrete goals

i don't want to limit myself with goals, and i know that they're important. i think my main goal for this year will be to find myself in a place. as you can see even in this blog, i haven't been in one place for long for the past 3 years - i love the traveling, the moving, the adventure. i've found parts of myself in various parts of the world, but each time i have to end up leaving a little bit of myself there. i want to find my challenge, i want to travel, i want to be emotionally and physically comfortable in a place long enough that i don't mind staying. not that i have a problem with atlanta, i'm just restless. i like it now, but i guess i just want to find and keep that independence (universal now, i hope) and use it to do something.

i want to do something this year, not just dream about it or talk about it. hold me to it.

productivity

probably the most productive saturday i've had in awhile...

2 days ago i realized i'd be coming to mendoza to do lc coaching for the 3rd time with only 1 day to do 5 days worth of work. obviously, that didn't work out as planned. we were flexible though and still able to do a lot, and honestly, i think it's the most productive work day i've had since i've been here for coaching.

i spent the morning working with the new lcp-elect on his next immediate steps with the lc to ensure that they're all on the right track and motivated for next year. after a tasty lunch of yesterday's leftover pizza and some fresh empanadas, we got right to work with some new ep's that would go to brazil tomorrow if they could :) then came individual vision sessions with the new vp's of each area (that were able to come), which honestly, was enough. we also defined the next steps in the planning process and the guys should have everything ready to complete their plan before coco sur in january. i'm very content :)

very exhausted, but as they say, you have to take advantage of everything - tonight we'll be heading up to the mountains for an "electronica party" as i was told and of course i'm going despite the exhaustion ;) i deserve it after working like i did today, no?

i just keep telling myself that tomorrow i can just sleep on the bus on the way back to chile. wow. so fast.

u.s. in a week, coco sur in a month.

where is this year going???

día de gracias

so yesterday was thanksgiving day (well, in the u.s. anyway). it was my first thanksgiving outside of the u.s. and without my family - and really here in chile, it was just another day. i worked like always and because i'd been sick with some kind of stomach bug for the past few days, wasn't feeling up to cooking and much less eating a full thanksgiving dinner. instead, juan and i decided to dedicate the day to all things from the u.s. instead of celebrating thanksgiving in the traditional way (thanks for agreeing to that, juan :D) - the day, after all, is more about what you're thankful for than necessarily eating the turkey, right?

i started the day in starbucks, it's really the greatest place to work ever - music, coffee, comfortable atmosphere, the perfect temperature (how do they do that???), huge windows, comfy couches, and a little touch of home, of course ;) then, like all good twilight fans, we went to the movies to see "new moon" at night - loved it :) but only after a dinner at the only taco bell i've seen in santiago...

so al fin, it was a good day, and today i think my body is finally feeling normal with the food thing - juan and i will cook tonight for my roommies and any others that come over to make up for yesterday and a cena tica that he wants to cook :) we'll see how it goes.

so not traditional, and not with my family, my first thanksgiving away - but thankful nonetheless for my amazing friends and boyfriend that i have here in santiago, my friends and family at home in the u.s., and the life that i'm so lucky to have in both places. that's what thanksgiving is, really :) and thank you to everyone here in chile that remembered - feels good to have a fiesta patria every once in awhile...

luscious

a trip to valdivia (a city in the south of chile) has inspired me to eat healthier, or rather, fresher. we'll see how long it lasts, ha ha :)

enamorada with santiago in spring, my boyfriend living 15 minutes away (by bus, of course - i'm now the master of public transportation), my amazing friends/roomies/co-workers, our results here in southern cone, and getting back in shape :)

excited for christmas break in the u.s. with my family and friends there.

going to starbucks now for the second time this week. for a meeting, i promise :)

"sometimes i forget you're gringa. you have more flavor." - my feel good quote of the week, ha ha ha :)

looks like i have the adapting thing down...for now.

back and forth

1 more night in buenos aires for awhile. is this really my life, to come here every couple of months from my home in santiago? is my home really in santiago right now, complete with job, apt, boyfriend, friends, and routine?

it doesn't feel real sometimes. i'm all over the place, working in a position beyond my years of experience, working and living with people from all over the world, living in another language, working in another language, traveling always, resting sometimes, enjoying everything.

though i've become so comfortable that sometimes i don't know what to say here... or maybe just busy. maybe the comfort is in that i'm never quite comfortable. or that i just never stop. or that now i recognize where my culture has come and gone into my life here.

so to be content is not to be content or comfortable - the challenge is always calling.

saturday night

this was a culture/physical shock for me when i first arrived here. in the u.s., clubs close at 2 am - in santiago, you might not go out until 2 am and come home at 4:30, 5, 6, etc.

by now i'm used to it i guess. i never realized it, but i just came to expect it. it's 11:30 on saturday night and i'm sitting in my living room as my boyfriend takes a nap in the other room. i'd go lay down too but i'm afraid of falling asleep myself - this happened last night, ha ha :)

he found an apartment today - we walked from santiago centro and plaza de armas to the mercado central and back - we watched a chilean movie - we ate once :) it was a full day for sure and it felt amazing to spend a day like that again with him, it'd been awhile. and now comes the point when we should have gone out 2 hours ago and yet we're waiting - that's how it goes here.

well, live, learn, and adapt - talk like a chilean, eat like a chilean, go out like a chilean - that's what stretches us, to be able to do it and not think twice, to be comfortable with something so foreign. see it, understand it, do it.

thankful for the little things, completely content in mind, body, spirit - that's where i am now :)

i am truly truly lucky.