"if you can't feel it, then it must be too real to touch..."

the line above, surprisingly, comes from an old eminem song, though i can't remember which one. in high school i covered my closet doors (4 of them) with random quotes from songs, poems, other literature, etc. that i connected with or found intriguing at some point in time. while at home last weekend, i stopped to read some of them, all of which remain untouched since i moved out almost 5 years ago. wow. this one stuck out for some reason and has, in turn, made me stop and reflect on what it means, exactly, to feel something...i mean, really feel it.

i've realized that over the past couple weeks, in talking with friends and family about things like choosing a job and likening it to the process of chossing a college, i must sound like a crazy hippie, ha ha :) the advice i've given people about making choices that they're having a hard time with has consisted mostly (well let's be honest, pretty much entirely) of the following advice: try out/try to get a feel for all the choices, then pick the one you get the vibes from. no joke, ha ha :) honestly, that's how i chose tech. i went to all the schools i applied to and walked around, talked to people, but mainly just tried to drink in my environment. this turned out to be pretty literal when i went to visit tech since it was cold, rainy, and miserable, ha ha...but despite all that, something about the place just connected with me. i guess i got the "vibes" so to speak...

it sounds silly, i know. but you know how when something is right (or wrong), you just intuitively know sometimes? your head might get in the way sometimes, trying to justify things that you feel are wrong or discourage you from pursuing things you feel are right, but nonetheless, given enough time, i've found that things work themselves out. it works with relationships, it works with making decisions about where you want to be, it works when you're trying to figure out your priorities...they tend to do it for themselves :) the trick is, learning to 1. recognize it and 2. trust it. that's probably been the hardest part for me throughout everything, though when i finally gave in, i was never disappointed. sweet.

so next week, when i'll have my first "in-house" interview in new orleans, i'm going to show up in my suit, be prepared to answer questions about myself and what i'm looking for (though i'll leave out the vibes part...for now ;D), and put on the nicest smile i can. really, though, beneath all that, i'll probably be interviewing them too, though a little more discretely. it's not something i'll find out by asking them questions, though those might help. but really, if they're anything like me, probably at least half of the answers will be geared toward what they think i want to hear, and the other half may or may not be b.s. hard to tell sometimes, ha ha :) anyway, though, i'm really going to see if i get the vibes there. they may not even offer me a job, but i'd like to know either way.

it might be a hard thing to do, scoping out, feeling around for the vibes. but really, if the place is so right or so wrong, maybe it won't be so difficult. that's the awesome thing about vibes, if you're open to it, you don't even have to try :)