on "getting back up on the horse"

it's a saying, i know, to get back up on the horse when you fall off. but how many people have actually fallen off a horse? while it was galloping? right, obviously not...

this weekend i went with one of my friends from the u.s., some friends from the lc here in santiago, and one of my roommates/colleagues (ha ha) to pichilemu, a beach town about 3 hours south of santiago. the town was small but set to the gorgeous background of a black-sand beach, rolling green valleys, and huge rocks rising out of an aqua sea. the scents of fish and friend empanadas filled the streets, as did all the tourists from around the world: families, college kids, surfers, etc. we stayed in a house for 30 people with a courtyard in the middle for parties and asados and passed the days sipping drinks, exploring the town on foot, and seeking new adventures ... one of these being riding horses.

horses are beautiful, powerful animals, i know, i know. riding them is fun, yes - if you know what you're doing. in my case, i wasn't so sure, nor were my legs long enough to really take advantage of the stirrups hanging from the sides of the saddle. yeah. wasn't so comfortable, but neither were lots of people, and the first half of our ride was chill, relaxing, and fun :) yay for being cool and riding horses on the beach! on of the most romantic things to do, right? the stuff fairy tales and romance novels are made of - perfect. well, yes and no...

so at the point where this picture was taken (the last i'm afraid my camera will ever take), we emerged from a trail behind the dunes onto the beach. gorgeous, as you can see. well, the horses got excited because the beach was wide and open after the small, narrow path and they knew that we were now on our way back - they wanted to run. i did not want to run. i kept yanking on the reins to slow down my horse - he wasn't thrilled, but he obeyed. cool, i can handle this.

well, not for long. before i knew it, the yanking was having no effect on him whatsoever and my horse (and i) are galloping down the beach at full speed, well past everyone else. i'm screaming my head off, yelling and cursing hysterically in english, spanish, and whatever flies out of my mouth in an effort to get help, to make him stop. it was HORRENDOUS. i've never been so scared in my life. my friend, one of the more experienced riders in the group, rides up and tries to force my horse into the water (we're on the beach don't forget) in an effort to slow him down. it's not working. i want to die. i'm afraid i'm going to die. ugh.

finally, after a failed attempt to hold onto his mane (cropped into a mohawk until about 3 inches below the bottom...fail.), i end up slipping off the left side of the horse and rolling in the sand. i'm so scared, angry, and hurt, all i can do is cry and lay there as a new wave washes over me from the ocean. awesome. by the time my friends have arrived and dragged me out of the water, i'm soaked and covered in sand. i'm sobbing. my camera and my phone are ruined. and my horse is god knows where. great experience, huh? well, it makes a good story anyway...

by the end of this fiasco, we actually weren't so far from the original place. i was given the option to hop on the back of the guide's horse with him to ride back and i said no. hell no. i know they say to get back up on the horse when you fall off, but sometimes you need a minute (or a month or a year, who knows), you know?

there's something to be said for perseverance and never giving up. hard work pays off in the end, it's true, and there's no way to learn without falling down first, yes, thank you, i've heard. but there's also something to be said for learning from the past, knowing your limits, knowing your goals, and taking things one day at a time. i will never be a star equestrian, and i know this. it doesn't mean i can't ride a horse to have fun, and this experience doesn't mean that i never will again - but i'm not going to get back up on the horse tomorrow because it isn't on my top list of priorities right now. i tried something new, i fell (it's ok and i'm ok), maybe i'll try again one day, but if i don't i don't think it'll kill me. so in the end, it really doesn't matter i guess, right?

it's like my experience here, though it's been a lot better in general, ha ha :) i'm trying something new and testing my limits, though to do it like this is important to me and i want to try even with doubts and failure looming in the distance. therein lies the difference, and i'm not ashamed to say that i probably won't seek out a horseback ride for a while...