on that note...

so my last post could be considered, i guess, a loose list of resolutions for the coming year, though i don't really see any reason to hold off on them until then. i've already broken some of them, due in part to being busy, in part to my new addiction to the twilight books (yes, i know, ha ha), in part to being lazy, and in part to what i'd like to think of as enjoying my break :) we can't be really serious all the time, right? ha ha ha ha :) one of these things, though, the finding inspiration in nature, words, people, etc (is how i believe i worded it?), has definitely stuck out of this list.

living in atlanta has been great to me with the exception of one thing: being able to see the stars. i used to miss them a lot when i first moved, especially since i'd been known in high school to lay in my car with the sunroof open or even in my front yard at night or the front yards of friends to look at them. they were one of my biggest natural inspirations and still amaze me to this day. every place i've traveled, i've tried to make it a point to notice them (if possible). in some places, of course, they're brighter than others - i guess just like how they're brighter in fayetteville than atlanta.

the stars hold romance for me. power. beauty. inspiration. and spirituality. yup, spirituality.

i was raised catholic in an italian family who valued religion immensely. i still go to church with my parents when i'm home, though i haven't made as much of an effort when i'm on my own in atlanta. i don't mind church, and though i don't necessarily agree with everything that the catholic church teaches, i'd like to consider myself a good person, and if nothing else, a spiritual person. when i do go to church, i'll admit, i do have a hard time paying attention. my mind invariably drifts, but i've found that the subjects it drifts to are somehow related to what's going on in the mass. i think of church as more of an inspiration to do good in my own life than as a classroom in which to learn right and wrong. maybe i always have, but it's just now becoming more clear. but i don't only find this inspiration in church itself...i find it in nature.

for some reason, when i look at the stars, i pray in my head or in semi-silent whispers to myself. maybe that's weird, i don't know, but i'm not ashamed of it. there's actually one specific spot on the walk to my front door in fayetteville where a part of the house that juts out blocks the streetlights and lights in the driveway and is right before the motion light above the front door is triggered by my presence. from there, the stars are perfect - clear, sharp, powerful. and almost every time i've found myself alone in this spot for the past 6 years or so, i've stood there, looking at the stars, and prayed.

i've prayed for love, safety, and health for my family and friends. my blessings in education. my blessings in the people around me that love me and that i love in return. my blessings in being able to experience the world as i have so far, the few corners that i've been able to visit. i've prayed for lots of things over the years, and tonight, without intending to necessarily, i did it again. why, i don't know. i guess it's the stars :)

so maybe that particular resolution wasn't one that i really needed to make, as a challenge anyway. apparently, i've already made a start and have had one for 6 years at least, ha ha :) maybe, though, i just needed to be reminded.

sometimes huge changes aren't necessary to get to where you want to go...sometimes, you just need to reflect a little, and look at things in a different way. there's something to be said for the power of perspective :)