inspiration and the thrill of the chase.

i've realized lately (or admitted to myself) the importance of the "thrill of the chase" to my working style, my ambition, my interests, and my inspiration. i don't think it applies to my personal relationships, but in terms of these other factors, it holds a little more relevance than i'd like.

part of the reason i entered engineering (i orginally came in to tech as a management major) was because of the challenge. everyone talked about how hard it was (but rewarding, of course) and without meaning to, i found myself wanting to try it out and see what i could do. maybe i wanted to prove to myself that i could do it. maybe i'm just an overachiever (though these high school tendencies have since worn off a little). i don't know.

i do know that i ended up in a really good position throughout it all in choosing environmental engineering, but i cringe to remember one of the main reasons that i went though it in the first place. it makes me question my decisions then and my decisions now and their motivations. it's dangerous to do something to prove that you can instead of doing it because you want to and it inspires you. i've been lucky once in that i ended up being passionate about my field but hopefully now can more aware so that i don't need luck to eventually end up where i want to be.

wherever that may be.